Yesterday, I watched a video from a former coach of mine, Rich Litvin. He has a question that he loves to ask his clients. It is also a question that his accountability group will always ask each other whenever they meet up:
"What is the one thing you do NOT want me to know about you?"
It is a hard question, don’t you think? It gets us deep inside – in that place where we want to keep our secrets, insecurities and fears safe. We worry that if you know that thing about me – that you would reject me, laugh at me or think less of me. We therefore push it down, hide it and keep it in the dark.
I remember observing one thirty-year old woman in a group coaching session. She wanted to share what she called a deep dark secret but she felt so consumed by fear and anxiety that...
Read MoreProblems in relationships are often maintained or even aggravated by the way we try to solve them.
- Do you ever think you know what is needed to fix the problem and then keep on trying to make whatever that is happen?
- Do you ever keep doing or saying the same thing to try to make the other person change?
If you answered yes to either of those two questions, then it is time to pull your head out of the sand and think again, because what you are doing isn’t working!
Read MoreIt certainly feels so to me. There are plenty of things I freely admit to but somehow confessing that there are times when I feel lonely feels so much harder for some reason.
Maybe that is because I somehow think I 'shouldn't' feel lonely or I ‘ought’ not to feel lonely. After all, I have a wide circle of friends, a loving husband and a son who is still young enough to want to hang out with his mother. I often tell myself that I have no right to feel lonely... and yet there are times when I most definitely do.
What I have come to understand is that loneliness isn’t about the quantity or even the quality of relationships we have. It is subjective. It is caused by feeling emotionally or socially disconnected from those around us and that can happen to any of us.
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