Dear Sarah
I've been married for a few years now and barring some minor disagreements have a generally happy relationship. Fortunately I managed to marry a woman with taste when it comes to interior decorating and we didn't really need my furniture or much of my "stuff" when we bought a home together as, quite frankly, her things are much nicer!
The one thing I do have is a fairly extensive DVD collection that I am proud of (as much as anyone can be proud of such things). Alas, it is stored away in a not very convenient place. The 3 different sized cupboards are not very big and I can't arrange them at all - either alphabetically, by classification or by genre - which as you can no doubt tell is frustrating. Neither can I look back and take stock of the whole collection in one go, as one might with a CD or record collection say, which occurs when I'm thinking of what to watch or more importantly, what to put on for a friend who has come over to watch one with me.
My wife doesn't seem very keen in me making it more obvious or accessible and although I'm not sure I want it all across the wall in the room where the telly is, (although I sort of do) - I don't know how to convince her that it could do with being in a better place, without being thought of as a little silly. Do you have any ideas on how to broach the subject with her?
Thanks,
Simon.*
Dear Simon,*
Your question reminds me of my husband, David. Like him you are passionate about your DVD collection and want it in view and within easy reach. And just like him you have a wife who sadly doesn’t share your enthusiasm for having hundreds of DVD boxes on display where everyone else has to look at them.
I can virtually hear your frustration coming off the page. You don’t make any claims on the home décor or storage organisation but you are not getting your way on the one thing you do care about: having easy access to your DVDs. (Out of interest if you did get the chance to sort them out – I wonder which classification method you would choose? David is definitely an alphabetical man.)
You ask how you can broach the subject with your wife? I would recommend doing some research first. Have a look around your home and come up with some possible sites for your DVDs. If you can, I would suggest finding several options: maybe one where the DVDs would be on full view and another where they would be hidden but in a place that would give you more room to organise them, as you would want. Then, having done your homework, pick a good time to address the issue with your wife.
Tell her what you have told me. Explain why it is so important to you and then ask her if it would be possible to consider some of the options you have researched. Discuss the pros and cons of each one and listen carefully to any objections she might raise. Then try and come to a decision together; one that works for you both. You may need to try a couple of options and see how they work in practice. Then once you are both happy you can get busy organising and categorising your collection. And when you have finished why not celebrate by organising a date night in with your wife? You could make supper and then settle down on the sofa with her to watch her favourite (and easy to find) DVD.
Let me know how you get on but in the meantime, be bold, be brave and be yourself,
Sarah
*Name has been changed.
If anyone else has advice for Simon on reorganising his DVD collection with style, please do use the comment section below. And don't forget, if you have a question about how to live, love or lead more authentically then use the contact form here and we will try to include it in a future Q&A. If we use your question we will send you a free copy of my book "Inside Out – how to have authentic relationships with everyone in your life